afterlife stories

Where Is That Light Coming From

In Dying to Live, Featured by Becki HawkinsLeave a Comment

“Where Is That Light Coming From?” A Moment Of The Afterlife

One of the greatest gifts from the YouTube video of me speaking in Sedona about some of my experiences with my patients is when I receive emails from people across the globe about some of their experiences.

This dear woman gave me permission to share her story below.

“My first husband was a mechanic for the police and fire dept.  He was working on a stuck ladder and fell.  This caused a tumor in his lung.  Months went by and he coughed a lot, so I insisted he see a doctor.  We went to the hospital and had all the tests.  I somehow knew it wasn’t going to be something simple like a cold.  He was diagnosed with large cell carcinoma, lung cancer.  They could not operate because it had already moved into the chest cavity.  They put him through radiation treatments for a month to see if the tumor would shrink.  It did not.  He went to the hospital on March 11, 1985…this was also the anniversary of his brother’s death.  I felt so strange about that.  In April he was in the hospital again for about 14 days, and again in June for about 21 days.  This time, he didn’t come home.  He passed away just after our 18th anniversary on June 24th.

He was very worried that day and I told him I would stay with him all night and as long as he wanted me to.  They just couldn’t keep the fluid drained out of his lungs.  The Doctor told me earlier that evening that he was dying.  About 9:30pm the nurse came in and put the oxygen mask on him because the tube under his nose wasn’t giving him all that he needed.  I tried to lie down on the chair, but he had to keep his hand on me.  I tried to hold his hand but it was so hard to do.  I just got up and sat on the bed.  He would look out the window and then back at me.  He looked so scared.  About 3 am I asked him if he was looking for the sun to come up and he nodded yes.  I told him not to worry, it would be up soon and he would feel so much better.  Besides I wasn’t going anywhere.  And I wasn’t going to let anything happen to him. This was the last thing I said to him.

I had prayed that God would help me do what I needed to do, and that he would give me something to hang onto so I would know if I did right.  After all I had two children, ages 14 and 16, at home with my Mother.

About 3:30 am I was still sitting on the bed looking at him and NEVER have I ever been in such peace.  There was a green veil between us. It lay across my arms and my lap, and went all the way to the ceiling.  I wondered what it could be.  It sparkled like diamonds bursting in the sun.  I thought “this looks like something from Disneyland.” But green? I saw him through the veil and heard what sounded like straining.  But it seemed OK, I thought oh, he is trying to keep from coughing.  His eyes were closed and his head tilted on the pillow.

There seemed to be tremendous figures in the room at each side of the bed…and the music…not audible to the ear but heard inside.  It was like I have never heard before, and I have written music before, and played music since the age of 5.  This music was so beautiful and so soft but bold all at the same time.  Then the veil started to lift from between us.  The peace I felt started to leave.  The higher the veil, the more panic I felt.  By the time I could see him clearly without any obstruction, I jumped from the bed and at the door I yelled for the nurse.  When I looked back at him his head was straight on the pillow and he was looking at the top of the wall.  But I saw a golden glow encircling his head and chest as if there was a spot light on him.  I said to myself and the nurse when she came in “Where Is That Light Coming From?” If only I had turned around and looked where he was looking.  There was no light in the room before.  Standing at the foot of the bed my knees felt weak and I had to kneel.  The nurse helped me to the hall, but again I went to my knees.  Not feeling faint but knowing that you might not be able to stand in the presence of God.  They took me to the nurses’ station and asked the normal questions about respirators and life support.  I told them to do anything they must do to make him comfortable.  They were not going to keep him any longer than God wanted him to stay.

The only thing I can figure is that God knew He had to do something to keep me still so I wouldn’t screw it up trying to help.  So he put me in the state of peace and ecstasy while He did what He had to do.  After it was finished He let me loose so I could do something so that I could feel useful, and keep my word to my husband.”

I always honor these stories! I feel blessed that I get to read them. Truly we are here for such a brief journey, even if we live to be 110. And then we, ‘cross over’. Or as one of my patients said, “Becki, we go back home.”

Becki Hawkins

Becki Hawkins

Becki Hawkins is a retired hospice nurse, sharing the lessons she learned about life, death and living from her patients.
Becki Hawkins

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